In our decades of experience as divorce trial attorneys in California, we've witnessed numerous cases of separation that ended on a bitter note. The effect of a negative parting of ways between a couple is most felt by their children, who face a state of uncertainty and emotional confusion.
The mental and emotional repercussions of divorce may well affect some children in a way that stays with them through adulthood. Many times it's a feeling of guilt, sometimes it's remorse or worse. Between choosing one of their parents, most children end up distraught.
This is why couples who want to get their marriage dissolved need to proceed with caution and minimize their exposure to the court proceedings.
If you're engaged in a divorce of your marriage or are thinking of separation, protecting your children's mental health during this time is vital, especially during the division of assets and determination of child custody.
At Fizer law firm, we advise our clients to consult with a marriage counselor or psychologist during this time to minimize the negative impact that their children may have to bear. Regardless, these tips below will help you to get off on the right foot in protecting your child's wellbeing during a divorce:
Having a positive attitude during the divorce proceedings is essential to reach an amicable settlement and provide the best for your children as a collective unit. Don't make any harsh or rude statements in front of your children, and keep the courtroom outside your living room. Presenting a united front at home will help your children deal with the ordeal better and positively.
It's not wise to include children as leverage or ask to pick a side during a divorce. We all had our preference for our parents as a child, and so causing an overreaction on this issue will do no good to your child.
Only inform them of the progress of the case and not the particulars. They shouldn't be a bridge between the couple or inquire about the time they spent with either parent.
During a divorce proceeding, it's easy to forget about the needs and expectations of the children. Children don't like to stay at home alone and have dinners kept in the fridge with instructions. It's essential that you, both parents pay attention to their child.
The child needs to feel secure once the marriage is legally dissolved. So make a schedule with your ex so that both of you can cater to your child's needs and accompany them in their daily lives. The schedule should be balanced in a way regardless of who gets the physical and legal custody of the child.
Separation is a difficult time to face in our lives, no matter the reason. During this time, it may become hard to console the children when you're yourself distraught with emotions running high. So it would be a good decision to consult with therapy or your family doctor. You can also open up to your close friends and get their support during this difficult phase of life.
The most important thing here is not to expect emotional support from your children. After all, they're going through the same phase as you and, being children, cannot be expected to understand the reason their parents are getting separated.
Only if the parents are in a positive mental state will they'll be able to look after their children properly.
As adults, we often fail to understand the complex emotions of children and what they want. When you're with your children back home, try and create an environment where the child can freely divulge his thoughts and feelings. It's important that the child feels safe in this environment and that there would be no repercussions as a result of their opening up to one parent.
Remind them that they'll have the intimacy and proactive involvement of both parents growing up.
Don't share the financial burden of the case as it progresses in court. The children might fear the aftermath of a parent after the divorce. However, if they do notice the lifestyle changes, it's important to assure them that everything's going to be alright.
Keep up with their schedules and try to make them realize that no aspect of their life has changed nor their future compromised due to the divorce.
The news of a parent's divorce is known to the teachers of the child's schools. Although most schools in the country today know how to deal with divorce issues, it's best to consult with them and discuss the classroom and academic issues that your child may face.
The teachers should be aware of the feelings of the child and analyze their behavior in school to report it back to the parents. This line of communication is a must to ensure your child isn't distracted by the separation in their classroom.
The process of divorce can't be predicted, and there's no way of telling if the matter can be settled amicably by way of a settlement or through a courtroom dispute. But litigation can be a stressful period for everyone involved, including the children.
In order to dissolve your marriage on amicable terms, you can, and your spouse can opt for a mediator to create a mutually beneficial arrangement that benefits all the parties concerned. Having a mediator also allows you to settle the matter quickly and in a more cost-efficient manner.
If you need litigation help related to family disputes like divorce, child custody, wealth and estate planning, etc. Fizer law firm can help. In our years of service at Long Beach, California, we've served numerous clients with their family issues and helped couples part on a positive note.
Get in touch today for a consultation session with one of our expert attorneys.